VIDEO RELEASES 6/30/09
All capsule reviews are excerpts from Dennis Willis' forthcoming book Flick Nation.
12 ROUNDS (2009)
John Cena, Ashley Scott, Steve Harris, Gonzalo Menendez, Aidan Gillen, Brian J. White, Taylor Cole, Vincent Flood
SCR: Daniel Kunka
DIR: Renny Harlin
PG-13 / 1:48 / BOX: $11,852,057
www.12rounds-movie.com
It’s nice to know that the spirit of the 1980’s is still with us. Remember the direct-to-video knockoffs that littered many a video store shelf in the wake of Commando, Cobra and the like? The WWE sure does and has produced this cheap knockoff of Die Hard with a Vengeance starring wrestler Cena for everyone who thinks endless action and indestructible heroes are the ingredients of an awesomely badass movie. Nope, just a bad movie. Frankly, I’m amazed this even got a theatrical release. Speaking of Die Hard, director Harlin also helmed Die Hard 2, the worst of that series. (Fox Atomic)
EDUCATION OF CHARLIE BANKS, THE (2009)
Jesse Eisenberg, Jason Ritter, Chris Marquette, Eva Amurri, Sebastian Stan, Gloria Votsis
SCR: Peter Elkoff
DIR: Fred Durst
R / 1:40 / BOX: $15,078
www.charliebanksmovie.com
Simmering tensions and strong performances illuminate Limp Bizkit front man Durst’s big screen directing debut (the lame sports comedy The Longshots was his follow-up but released first). Eisenberg is a quiet Ivy League student who ratted out a bully from the neighborhood years earlier before disappearing into a tony new reality. Imagine his surprise when the thug (Ritter) shows up at the same school, appearing to have gotten his act together in pursuit of higher education – and the woman of Eisenberg’s dreams. There are layers of quiet intimidation here, and some huge “what if” questions dancing along the edges of the frame. Eisenberg, Ritter (son of John) and Amurri (daughter of Susan Sarandon) all give noteworthy breakout performances, but it’s Durst who proves the biggest surprise – well, to everyone who didn’t realize how many cinematic music videos he’s directed. His post-Bizkit career should get along fine, thank you, so long as he doesn’t make any more crappy movies like The Comebacks.
JONAS BROTHERS: THE 3D CONCERT EXPERIENCE (2009)
Nick Jonas, Kevin Jonas, Joe Jonas, Demi Lovato, Taylor Swift
DIR: Bruce Hendricks
G / 1:16 / BOX: $19,162,740
disney.go.com/disneypictures/jonasbrothers3d/
You just knew that as soon as the Hannah Montana concert movie did well, the Disney machine would crank this out. These guys are the 21st century equivalent to the Monkees but the movie treats them like they are the Beatles, complete with A Hard Day’s Night-inspired interstitials. And despite a massive press campaign that included a "Surprise Theater Invasion Tour,” this movie fell way below expectations and became a punch line. Not the best way to launch a music career. (Buena Vista)
STREET FIGHTER: THE LEGEND OF CHUN-LI (2009)
Kristin Kreuk, Neal McDonough, Chris Klein, Michael Clarke Duncan, Taboo, Robin Shou, Moon Bloodgood
SCR: Justin Marks
DIR: Andrzej Bartkowiak
PG-13 / 1:36 / BOX: $8,128,000
www.streetfighter.com/movie
Sequel based on an endless series of comic books, TV shows, video games and assorted product lines, not the least of which, the 1994 Van Damme version. I’m sorry, maybe it’s just me. Was there something unique or special about the concept of competitive one-on-one fighting matches that I missed? Because, you know, that’s a whole lot of product built around the concept of two people beating the crap out of each other. I can understand the 1994 version. They were making some stupid movies based on stuff like videogames back then. But to spend $60 million in 2009 on the sequel to a movie that failed the first time around? Heck, sign me up for that Mario Bros. reboot! (20th Century Fox)
TWO LOVERS (2009)
Joaquin Phoenix, Gwyneth Paltrow, Vinessa Shaw, Isabella Rossellini, Elias Koteas, Moni Moshonov
SCR: James Gray, Richard Menello
DIR: James Gray
R / 1:40 / BOX: $1,229,097
www.twoloversmovie.com
The joke may be on us if Phoenix ever cops to pulling an Andy Kaufman with all of his outrageous off-screen behavior because his performance in this film (purportedly his last) is amazing. He plays a heartbroken man who quickly falls into two affairs: One with Paltrow, who is also seeing a married man; and the other with Shaw, a union arranged by his parents. This is an old-fashioned adult romance that never gives in to the temptation of melodrama or histrionics, but that doesn’t make it boring. Frankly, it was a breath of fresh air to see a movie about grown-ups. (Magnolia)
12 ROUNDS (2009)
John Cena, Ashley Scott, Steve Harris, Gonzalo Menendez, Aidan Gillen, Brian J. White, Taylor Cole, Vincent Flood
SCR: Daniel Kunka
DIR: Renny Harlin
PG-13 / 1:48 / BOX: $11,852,057
www.12rounds-movie.com
It’s nice to know that the spirit of the 1980’s is still with us. Remember the direct-to-video knockoffs that littered many a video store shelf in the wake of Commando, Cobra and the like? The WWE sure does and has produced this cheap knockoff of Die Hard with a Vengeance starring wrestler Cena for everyone who thinks endless action and indestructible heroes are the ingredients of an awesomely badass movie. Nope, just a bad movie. Frankly, I’m amazed this even got a theatrical release. Speaking of Die Hard, director Harlin also helmed Die Hard 2, the worst of that series. (Fox Atomic)
EDUCATION OF CHARLIE BANKS, THE (2009)
Jesse Eisenberg, Jason Ritter, Chris Marquette, Eva Amurri, Sebastian Stan, Gloria Votsis
SCR: Peter Elkoff
DIR: Fred Durst
R / 1:40 / BOX: $15,078
www.charliebanksmovie.com
Simmering tensions and strong performances illuminate Limp Bizkit front man Durst’s big screen directing debut (the lame sports comedy The Longshots was his follow-up but released first). Eisenberg is a quiet Ivy League student who ratted out a bully from the neighborhood years earlier before disappearing into a tony new reality. Imagine his surprise when the thug (Ritter) shows up at the same school, appearing to have gotten his act together in pursuit of higher education – and the woman of Eisenberg’s dreams. There are layers of quiet intimidation here, and some huge “what if” questions dancing along the edges of the frame. Eisenberg, Ritter (son of John) and Amurri (daughter of Susan Sarandon) all give noteworthy breakout performances, but it’s Durst who proves the biggest surprise – well, to everyone who didn’t realize how many cinematic music videos he’s directed. His post-Bizkit career should get along fine, thank you, so long as he doesn’t make any more crappy movies like The Comebacks.
JONAS BROTHERS: THE 3D CONCERT EXPERIENCE (2009)
Nick Jonas, Kevin Jonas, Joe Jonas, Demi Lovato, Taylor Swift
DIR: Bruce Hendricks
G / 1:16 / BOX: $19,162,740
disney.go.com/disneypictures/jonasbrothers3d/
You just knew that as soon as the Hannah Montana concert movie did well, the Disney machine would crank this out. These guys are the 21st century equivalent to the Monkees but the movie treats them like they are the Beatles, complete with A Hard Day’s Night-inspired interstitials. And despite a massive press campaign that included a "Surprise Theater Invasion Tour,” this movie fell way below expectations and became a punch line. Not the best way to launch a music career. (Buena Vista)
STREET FIGHTER: THE LEGEND OF CHUN-LI (2009)
Kristin Kreuk, Neal McDonough, Chris Klein, Michael Clarke Duncan, Taboo, Robin Shou, Moon Bloodgood
SCR: Justin Marks
DIR: Andrzej Bartkowiak
PG-13 / 1:36 / BOX: $8,128,000
www.streetfighter.com/movie
Sequel based on an endless series of comic books, TV shows, video games and assorted product lines, not the least of which, the 1994 Van Damme version. I’m sorry, maybe it’s just me. Was there something unique or special about the concept of competitive one-on-one fighting matches that I missed? Because, you know, that’s a whole lot of product built around the concept of two people beating the crap out of each other. I can understand the 1994 version. They were making some stupid movies based on stuff like videogames back then. But to spend $60 million in 2009 on the sequel to a movie that failed the first time around? Heck, sign me up for that Mario Bros. reboot! (20th Century Fox)
TWO LOVERS (2009)
Joaquin Phoenix, Gwyneth Paltrow, Vinessa Shaw, Isabella Rossellini, Elias Koteas, Moni Moshonov
SCR: James Gray, Richard Menello
DIR: James Gray
R / 1:40 / BOX: $1,229,097
www.twoloversmovie.com
The joke may be on us if Phoenix ever cops to pulling an Andy Kaufman with all of his outrageous off-screen behavior because his performance in this film (purportedly his last) is amazing. He plays a heartbroken man who quickly falls into two affairs: One with Paltrow, who is also seeing a married man; and the other with Shaw, a union arranged by his parents. This is an old-fashioned adult romance that never gives in to the temptation of melodrama or histrionics, but that doesn’t make it boring. Frankly, it was a breath of fresh air to see a movie about grown-ups. (Magnolia)
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